i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
