The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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