It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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