Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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