if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
