Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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