4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
