): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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