"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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