Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs

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(520): View more from Arizona

Have you been tested recently?

(1-520): View more from Arizona

Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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(415): View more from California

Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.

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(770): View more from Georgia

When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.

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(773): View more from Illinois

We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.

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(914): View more from New York

You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.

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