Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool

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  (717): i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool http://tfl.nu/o66k
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (885)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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  (847): Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers http://tfl.nu/3d71
  Replies (50) Good night (1059) Bad night (6344)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.

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  (724): You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night. http://tfl.nu/vcog
  Replies (16) Good night (5215) Bad night (1086)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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  (303): Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me. http://tfl.nu/hog8
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (2476)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.

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  (973): just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/md62
  Replies (16) Good night (4643) Bad night (1146)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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  (801): Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college http://tfl.nu/xwrm
  Replies (8) Good night (2706) Bad night (801)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2087) Bad night (1048)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you

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  (920): June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you http://tfl.nu/uk7y
  Replies (9) Good night (1376) Bad night (465)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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  (563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9
  Replies (7) Good night (628) Bad night (1774)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.

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  (731): you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8o0g
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (467)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer

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  (440): Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer http://tfl.nu/t9hh
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (475)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?

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  (850): Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date? http://tfl.nu/y6z1
  Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (444)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.

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  (+44): Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms. http://tfl.nu/2jzl
  Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (261)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.

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  (928): He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school. http://tfl.nu/sa5d
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (281)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.

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  (781): I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt. http://tfl.nu/aqol
  Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (392)

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