so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
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I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.