ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.