Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.