nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
