Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
