69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
