if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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