just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
