as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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