what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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