his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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