can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
