Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
