the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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