And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
