Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize