No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
