the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
