Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
