the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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