Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize