Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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