Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
