I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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