When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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