hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
