I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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