She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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