But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
