I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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