two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
