That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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