I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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