And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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