I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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