who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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