K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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