He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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