If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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