I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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