Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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