We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
