he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
