Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
