Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
