Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
