well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Where are you guys?
Drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
