you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
