think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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