Will you blow on my dice?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
