i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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