New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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