You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize