just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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