I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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