ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
4 words: hood of his car
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
