I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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