If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
