I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
