Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
