I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
