i don't like sucking hair
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
