She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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