Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm too high and old for this...
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